[Movie Review] HAYRIDE TO HELL

The spooky Season would not be what it is without its main attractions–haunted trails, frightening figures, and fake cadavers spread out here and there. One noteworthy thing to keep in mind about horror movies is the location setting. To truly hold onto its rhetorical appeal, a horror production must choose between being set in an urban area, a suburban area, a rural area, the desert, the tropics, and once in a while, there happens to be a decent horror film in space. Dan Lantz’s HAYRIDE TO HELL is another horror film set in the countryside, and if viewers have seen one of them, then it is disputed that they have seen all of them, right?

Writers Robert Lange and Kristina Chadwick provide a story and screenplay that appears inspired by A Christmas Carol, introducing its protagonist, Farmer Sam (Bill Moseley), as a grumpy old man who refuses to give away his personal possessions, especially his farming property consisting of hundreds of acres of land.

In the first act, Sam gives off the impression that he is somewhat akin to an Ebenezer Scrooge-type of character. The character’s niece, Patty (Shelby Hightower), calls him “Uncle Sam.” Given the protagonist’s background, including his farming estate, this could be a reference to the Uncle Sam character who represents the United States government. In this case, Farmer Sam could be argued to be a figure who is exploited by democracy and provides benefits to those who help maintain his well-being. Of course, this may not quite be the case, and instead, he could just be a man who simply can stand his ground.

What also makes HAYRIDE TO HELL a Halloween-ized version of A Christmas Carol, or just any narrative centered on Christmas in general, is the inclusion of Santa Claus in Spooky Season form. Referred to as Pumpkin Claus (Jerry Walsh), this is a character who has the traditional Santa costume but with orange colors amidst the white instead of red. It is almost as if to suggest that the film wants to be a “defend your territory” narrative, similar to John Hughes’s Home Alone movies, but Lantz showcases a much more brutal story through its body count.

HAYRIDE TO HELL also possesses elements within it that play out like a distant offspring of John Wick. It isn’t enough that the film is a revenge story against the people who have done Sam wrong. The story gets to a point of no return for several of its antagonists, with some “good guy” characters on Sam’s side. What makes this aspect of the story confusing is how secondary characters are prompted to aid Sam in exacting revenge. The scheme does go to extreme lengths that it feels like there are no morally good people by the end.

From the endless catalog of movies in general and horror films specifically, HAYRIDE TO HELL is by no means anywhere on the list of worst movies to exist. There are some morals and themes to be had about the story, even if the execution isn’t quite potent in itself. Lange and Chadwick’s characters are two-dimensional and have no development within themselves for viewers to empathize with their experiences. The most notable figure here appears to be Patty, Sheriff Jubel (Kane Hodder), and Sam’s right-hand farmhand, a man from Belize named Budge (Cedric Casimiro).

Some of the characters represent archetypes that are a little too on the nose, such as Sam representing the common landowner but also a person that many people can look up to, or Budge who is demonstrated as the token Black character in horror films, but he has worth despite not exhibiting a lot of it by the end. The film also goes so far as to introduce what might be a ghost car–like Christine in Stephen King’s Christine–in its second act, but then it does not return for another scene. Unfortunately, the runtime does not do anyone justice, and we are left to shrug things off.

Editor Evan Wessman has transitory swipe cuts that want to be as if they were inspired by the Star Wars films. However, it would feel more palatable if these transitions were done through jump cuts. It also does not help that the musical scoring and sound design drive the film down with a Wilhelm scream and some poor themes.

On the brighter side, cinematographers Tom MaCoy and Mike Hennelly have some fair framing throughout the film that allows seeing the course of events tolerable, even if Lantz’s visual effects supervision proves a difficult obstacle. One of the redeeming aspects of HAYRIDE TO HELL is Kenneth Sebra et al’s set pieces throughout Sam’s farmland, including a barn portion, an electric chair site, a witch’s stake, or a cornfield for harvesting.

Overall, with a runtime of an hour and thirty-one minutes, it would be important to give this movie at least one watch. It is not entirely bad, but it does require more proper execution and a stronger story to grab the attention of an audience.

HAYRIDE TO HELL is now available in theaters.

John Tangolin
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