[Movie Review] MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB - Nightmarish Conjurings

This piece was written during the 2023 WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Without the labor of the writers and actors currently on strike, MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB being covered here wouldn’t exist.

Nursery rhymes, you know, those innocent ditties we remember from childhood, hold a unique fascination. Their sing-songy rhythm creates a peaceful melody, but they can also lull us into a false sense of security. Beneath their innocent facade lurk sinister themes and undertones. Certain songs hold deadly ideas like being baked into a pie, or the actual rhythm reminds us of angelic children eerily chanting “One, two, Freddie’s coming for you.”

However, while a nursery rhyme might hold a lot of potential for a scary good time, without an appropriate monster any nursery rhyme turned horror film will become more comical than scary. Director Jason Arber and writer Harrison Thomas Boxley, take us on a twisted journey into the familiar story of MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB but they fail to let the real monster lead and instead try too hard to recreate an already well-loved film.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB begins with familiar lyrics that seem to promise a soothing lullaby. We envision a mother gently serenading her child to sleep. However, as the story unfolds, we discover that Mary’s little Lamb, the titular character and antagonist, isn’t so little anymore. In fact, it’s grown and developed an insatiable hunger for human blood.

Carla (May Kelly) is a true crime podcaster known as the voice of “Carla’s Cold Cases.” She delves into unsolved mysteries and forgotten crimes while searching for plausible solutions. Yet, despite her talent for radio and a captivating voice, Carla faces a dilemma. Her advertisers demand fresh and exciting cold cases, which are becoming increasingly challenging to find.

On the other side of this chilling tale is Mary, a seemingly isolated and undoubtedly mad woman. Her quest is simple – to find a captive audience for her flesh-consuming lamb and create a twisted but happy family. The lamb itself is a man-sized creature that walks on two legs, and he appears more like a bizarre amalgamation of an evil Chuck E. Cheese animatronic and shoddy taxidermy than a truly menacing entity. However, the director does try to obscure the absurdity of the monster with shadowy rooms and quick, unsettling takes.

As the narrative unfolds, Carla takes her career into her own hands because she is determined to uncover a fresh and captivating story. She leads her team deep into the ominous woods to investigate the disappearance of two young people. Little does she know that they have met a grisly fate at the hands (or rather jaws) of the infamous little Lamb-y.

In a fashion reminiscent of the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre and other genre classics, Carla and her team become hopelessly lost, wandering into the house of certain death. Despite Mary’s blatant and relentless warnings, throwing every possible red flags right in their faces, Carla remains resolute in her pursuit of a gripping podcast episode. The lure of a sensational story overrides all caution, which leads the podcast team further into danger.

The film does fall short in one aspect: the characters. Aside from Mary, we have little opportunity to become acquainted with them. Consequently, when the little Lamb inevitably strikes, their grisly fates fail to evoke much sympathy or interest. The gore (while present) remains fairly limited. And the deaths, though executed with tension and cat-and-mouse suspense, feel somewhat lackluster in their impact.

The little Lamb behaves as a fairly one-dimensional killer, as he follows in the footsteps of iconic slashers like Jason and more specifically, Leatherface. In fact, the story and many of the scenes seem directly inspired by Texas Chain Saw Massacre. With no discernible motive and his wordless, relentless pursuit of prey, the little Lamb lacks the depth of character that could elevate his presence into a memorable villain.

However, the shining star of the film is Mary, brought to life by Christine Ann Nyland‘s compelling performance. Her character is intriguingly complex, as she plays a woman who has undoubtedly seen the darkest of times yet finds solace and companionship in her little Lamb. The film leaves us questioning whether raising this Lamb for over thirty years has driven her to madness, as we see her cling to strong delusions about her Lamb and the outside world.

Overall, MARY HAD A LITLE LAMB stumbles in its execution, particularly in the realm of character development and the overall impact of its horror elements. The film’s shortcomings significantly outweigh its strengths, leaving it trapped in the shadows of missed potential. While Nyland’s portrayal of Mary adds a touch of depth to an otherwise shallow story, it’s not enough to redeem the film from its underwhelming narrative and almost comical antagonist.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB is now available on Digital and DVD.