Recently, I watched A24’s porno-slasher X in theaters and thoroughly enjoyed a scare involving a Texan swamp gator. I was struck by the incredible cinematic potential of crocodilians and thought about all my favorite movie gators: the mutated croc from Annihilation, Lizzie from Rampage, and Tick-Tock from Peter Pan. But these gators are all side-pieces. I lamented, “When would gators get a starring role in killer-animal films the way that sharks and snakes do?”

Then I was asked to review SEWER GATORS and my life changed for the better. It turns out there’s a whole slew of killer gator films that I’ve been missing out on my whole entire life. As someone who follows @GatorsDaily on Twitter and likes the #flatfuckfriday tweet every Friday, I’m in for a roller coaster.

SEWER GATORS follows a small-town Louisiana policeman and an FBI agent as they investigate a series of deaths where unsuspecting victims get “eaten by the ass.” The deaths occur in bathrooms, pools, laundry rooms, and kitchens, so it’s not long before they deduce that the attackers are gators crawling up through sewage pipes.

With a premise that’s little more than a drawn-out poop joke, SEWER GATORS understands its own limits, clocking in at just a little more than an hour long. The special effects are exceedingly low-budget. With the exception of a CGI gator at the very end, most of the gators are simply plastic toys you might find at a gift shop. The blood is visibly made of ketchup and tabasco sauce and the set design is nonexistent, but no one’s watching SEWER GATORS for the special effects, and the crew knows it.

Despite being filmed on location in Louisiana, it’s not apparent whether the crew is truly Southern or whether the Southern flavors of the film are intended as parody. One scene involves a woman chasing away a gator with a voodoo doll, and the Southern accents feel somewhat exaggerated. Regardless, the crew manages to eke out some entertainment value via sheer commitment to the bit, and I even found myself somewhat endeared towards the characters in a manner not unlike Stockholm syndrome. Notable characters are an LDS missionary, a bumbling mayor, and a news reporter with an impressive mustache.

SEWER GATORS is undeniably at the lowest end of the B-movie spectrum, but it’s also not a complete waste of time. If you’re inebriated enough and have the sense of humor of a fifth-grade boy, you might just enjoy it. On my part, I’m quite happy that my journey into killer gator films started with SEWER GATORS because everything else I watch will be a masterpiece in comparison. To close out this review, I’d like to leave you with the lyrics to SEWER GATORS’ opening credits number, an acoustic ballad that immaculately sets the tone for the film:

Let me tell you a story
From South Louisiana
About a scaly beast who came to feast
From the golf to Floribama
They prowl at night up the sewage pipes
When you least expect it
So saddle up, buttercup
Don’t leave your toilet unprotected
He’ll eat you like a cumquat
Every time you pop a squat
Watch out for your joystick
Cuz you know that gator’s so slick
Cajuns start to question
If it may start a recession
So watch that bite, the gator might
Teach your bum a lesson

SEWER GATORS will be available on VOD, DVD, Blu-Ray, and collectible VHS on June 3 from the official BY THE HORNS site.