[Movie Review] WITNESS INFECTION - Nightmarish Conjurings

WITNESS INFECTION l Courtesy of Freestyle Digital Media

There are many people who say that The Godfather is one of the best films of all time. It has everything you need: drama, crime, action, and love, all centered around the politics of the Italian mafia. What if you had all of that…plus some farting zombies? If that is all but a dream to you, then sleep no longer my friend because you get all that and more with the new zombie horror comedy, WITNESS INFECTION. Get ready to become a vegetarian after watching this one.

WITNESS INFECTION was written by Carlos Alazraqui and Jill-Michele Melean and directed by Andy Palmer (Camp Cold Brook). The film follows Carlo (Robert Belushi), a sweet and sensitive dog groomer who also happens to be the son of mob family head, Mr. Serrelli (Alazraqui). It turns out that the government placed two rival mob families in the same small town for Witness Protection so now Mr. Serrelli has offered his son to marry Patricia (Erinn Hayes), the daughter of mob boss Mr. Miola (Maurice LaMarche) to keep the Miola family from killing Carlo’s brother Dominic (Bret Ernst). Carlo doesn’t want to marry Patricia because he has googly eyes for his co-worker, Gina (Melean). While ALL of this is going down, people all over town are eating sausages that are causing severe gastrointestinal distress…it’s also creating flesh-eating zombies with intense gastritis. Now an arranged marriage is the last thing on Carlo’s mind as he works with Regina, his cousin Vince (Vince Donvito), and a bar employee of the month Rose (Monique Coleman) to survive the night.

A problem with most horror comedies is that they focus too much on slapstick action and really miss their shot on hilarious characters and dialogue but Witness Infection doesn’t have that issue. Not only is the gaseous zombie action hilarious but the dialogue between all of the characters is smart, witty, and genuinely funny without being over-the-top. One of my favorite interactions was a conversation between two of Miola’s goons right before they were attacked by zombies. It felt like a ridiculous conversation that people would actually have and it had me rolling. Vince was another gem in this film as an Italian guy that owns an all-natural Mexican restaurant but wants to be a filmmaker. Then we have Rosa of Vengeance kicking ass and taking names like the heroine of a blaxploitation film.

There were so many nods to famous zombie movies that any fan of the zombie sub-genre would be appreciative. The gore didn’t happen that often but, when it happened, they went all out like it was a Herschel Gordon Lewis film. I couldn’t decide which side of the film that I liked more: the dramedy mafia film or the horror-comedy side because each was equally as funny and entertaining as the other. There was not a moment that I was bored with this movie and I loved the out-of-control, Jersey Shore caricatures that were the Miola and Serrelli families.

WITNESS INFECTION releases March 30th and I give this one two sausages up.