Let’s get one thing out of the way right up top.

I love for B-movies. 

If your film has ferocious sewer freaks, evil blobs, or any everyday thing gone killer (tomatoes, klowns from outer space, etc) there’s a good chance I’m going to like it. I’ve tried for years to articulate why I’m attracted to this over-the-top art form without success. All I know for sure is there’s almost no middle ground on the subject. You either like this stuff or you don’t.

And that’s probably how you’re going to feel about Todd Sheet’s CLOWNADO

The tragic events of CLOWNADO begin when Savannah (Rachel Lagen) attempts to leave her evil circus clown husband Big Ronnie (John O’Hara) for another man. “You’re milk that has turned sour,” Savannah tells him. “I’m tired of the taste.” But Big Ronnie won’t be rejected so easily. After quickly dispatching Savannah’s lover, Ronnie drags her off to the circus where he tortures her in an act involving balloons, darts, and a healthy helping of bad taste.

Sad and alone, Savannah turns to her friend Autumn (Jeanne Silver), and together they cast a spell in the attempt to get back at Big Ronnie. Unfortunately the spell backfires and gives Ronnie and his posse of painted henchement super tornado powers, which means they can fly around in a tornado (beats the freeway) and that they have giant mouths in their stomachs.

From here the film becomes a big “them vs. us” siege. With the “them” being the clowns and the “us” being a capable redneck, a recently fired stripper, a runaway teen, an Elvis impersonator, and eventually two storm chasers. 

Can this ragtag group of misfits stop the storm and ground the clowns? With a tank of liquid nitrogen, budget CGI, and a little luck, they just might.

No two ways about it, this movie was fun. From the highly quotable dialogue (“That pile of dicks isn’t gonna get away with this”) to the charmingly insane special effects (breasts with fangs, anyone?), CLOWNADO was everything I wanted a more. 

Writer/Director Todd Sheets never misses a chance to up the ante. In this 90-minute film you get dismemberment, decapitation, explosions, and a clown birth complete with intestine chomping. Every time you think Sheets has hit the limit, he throws out a new blood-soaked scene perfectly crafted for the drive-in mutant crowd. 

CLOWNADO is a wild ride into the eye of a perfectly outrageous clown-infested storm. This is an A+ B-movie. CLOWNADO is now available on VOD and arrives on DVD September 17. 

Adrienne Clark
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