Hello again, ghosts and ghouls!  Taylor Terrible here with a very special review: I won’t be complaining throughout it!  I know, crazy, right?

Let me give you some insight here: it seems like every horror film I’ve watched lately has fallen so, tremendously flat.  Every screener link I receive is one bad film after another.  Therefore, when I was offered the opportunity to screen the feature-length version of a short from the horror anthologyV/H/S, I was, with good reason, incredibly nervous.  And scared.  And I kind of wanted to laugh, because let’s be real, how was someone going to pull this off?

Well, let. Me. Tell. You.  SiREN is the feature-length film version of the short “Amateur Night” from V/H/S….we all know it as the “I like you” short.  Lily, who is clearly not human, rips off genitals, drinks blood, all that good stuff, all while never saying much more than “I like you” to one lucky man.  It’s probably the most iconic of the shorts, or at least the most memorable.

SiREN starts off introducing Jonah and his friends, who are headed to Garden City (at first I thought they meant Garden City, Long Island and I almost fangirled) for a weekend of raging parties, because Jonah’s getting married!  Of course, his beautiful wife Eva says “go have fun just don’t have sex”, because that’s foreshadowing that much worse will happen.

The guys start off in a lame bar when they meet a man who tells them he can take them to the craziest club they’ll ever go to.  Well, he’s not wrong, because they steal your memories and have rooms full of guys dressed like they’re in the KKK performing fellatio and essentially every other weird thing you could possibly think up.  It’s dark, sadistic, and in a BDSM kind of way, absolutely beautiful.

When Jonah realizes that one of the “attractions” of the club is locked inside a room with no way out, he decides to pull some knight-in-shining-armor-shit and free her.  Except we all know who Lily is…she’s a Lilith: a bloodsucking demon-creature who really, really hates most men. Except one.  She likes Jonah.

It’s hard to explain without giving too much away, but what I can tell you all about this film is that I was expecting it to be pretty horrible, but it actually ended up being really great.  The use of some AWESOME visual effects made it truly fun to watch (there’s a woman with hair made out of LEECHES!!!!), and the acting is a welcomed breath of fresh air compared to some of the more recent films I’ve watched.  Justin Welborn, in particular, was really interesting to watch.  He’s the controller of the club, it seems, and he reminds me so much of Leonardo DiCaprio in DJANGO UNCHAINED it’s a little scary.  I would love to ask him if that’s where his inspiration came from….Justin, if you’re reading this, find me on Instagram!!

Honestly, everything about this film was really, really great.  Minus a little bit of predictability, I have no complaints.  I would absolutely watch it again…maybe even tomorrow.  I really give some major credit to the cast and crew of this film for pulling off a feature-length that sounded near-impossible to pull off – I would arguably say that I actually enjoyed this more than I enjoyed V/H/S.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for existing, SiREN.

SiREN is now available on VOD, Digital HD, and DVD

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