In 12 days I’m moving to California.  I wanted to preface this review by pointing out the fact that I’m moving in 12 days across the country and I’m slammed with work and packing and making sure I see all my friends before I leave. This is important because I do not have the time to write reviews and actually had to put myself on hiatus till I moved and was settled in California.  After just viewing “Human Centipede: The First Sequence” I had to put my hiatus on pause and write a review for the movie I said I would never watch.

Synopsis of “The Human Centipede: The First Sequence” from IMDB: Two pretty but ditsy American girls are on a road trip through Europe.  In Germany, they end up alone at night with a broken car in the woods.  They search for help and find an isolated villa.  The next day, they awaken to find themselves trapped in a terrifying makeshift basement hospital along with a Japanese man.  An older German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins.  However, his three “patients” are not about to be separated but joined together in a horrific operation.  He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric systems.  By doing so, he plans to bring to life his sick lifetime fantasy, the human centipede.

My Review

I love horror.  Horror has become more than a genre for me but a complete and total lifestyle.  I love my horror movies and I love my horror books.  I love going to my horror conventions and I love the horror family that I’ve made through my website and conventions.  I watch horror movies on a weekly basis, the majority of my television shows are horror related and the majority of books I read are horror based.  For six years (THC came out in 2009) I have been vocally against The Human Centipede.  To me THC represented a turn in horror movies – pushing past the killers, the monsters, the aliens, the psychos, etc. and stepping into a territory that is just there to shock you with no cause behind it.  To me THC represented the phrase “torture porn.”  Why do I want to see three people that are joined ass to lips?  What about this is interesting or different or scary?  So for six years I publicly bashed and refused to watch the film.

I’m sure you are wondering what changed my mind?  Why did I all of a sudden decide to watch the one movie I refused to watch?  Last week I posted an article from Entertainment Weekly that discussed why we need more films that disturb us – specifically they were talking about Eli Roth’s homage to Cannibal Holocaust, “The Green Inferno.” The article essentially stated that it’s important to feel different things when experiencing films – you laugh at a comedy, you cry during movies such as “Up,” you hate the villain in an action movie; why not feel disgust and disturbed during a horror movie.  Why not push yourself to that edge?  I really liked the article and decided that I needed to push myself and watch THC to see what reaction and/or feeling I would get from it.

So tonight was the night that I was going to watch it.  I was going to give director Tom Six his chance to show me everything that THC encompassed (at least in the first one) and I must say I’m disappointed.  I figured there would be times when I would close my eyes or put my hand up or stop the movie and I didn’t.  To be quite honest I was totally let down.  Evil Dead (the remake) was much more gory and stomach churning then THC was.  Where there times I started to feel a bit uncomfortable?  Yes, of course… the idea of someone shitting into someone else’s mouth doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.  The shock of the whole movie was just “eh” and fell flat.  I was also hoping that Dieter Laser (who plays Dr. Heiter) would blow me away with his performance.  Nope.  In the beginning he was great and then he just seemed pathetic and childish to the point of annoyance.  If you are going to do a movie in which you want your audience to be pushed to the edge and feel absolute disgust and revulsion, learn from directors such as Eli Roth and Takashi Miike. THC offers nothing.  If I had to compare THC to something I would compare it to Peeps (yes, the candy you get at Easter).  There is nothing to it – it’s full of air and nothingness and at the end you aren’t satisfied.  Am I glad I watched this?  I mean I guess, only because I can still hate on it and actually say I saw it.  Do I plan on watching anymore?  Nope.  All in all, this is probably one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen in my entire life.

My final review

Story/Concept: 0
Direction/Style: 0
Scares: 0
Atmosphere: 0
Rewatchability: 0

To anyone who really wants to watch a movie that will send them over the edge, I suggest renting Ichi the Killer.  Don’t waste your time on this movie.

Shannon McGrew
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