The Pyramid (2015)

I have unfortunately been slacking as of late - but I promise it was all for good reasons!  I've started focusing on my own little horror venture and had been focused on getting that off the ground.  But alas, I am back and rearing to go with a new review on a new horror movie!

I am pumped that I get to review “The Pyramid” DUN DUN DUN!!!  As always here is the synopsis:

“Father-daughter archaeologist Miles and Nora Holden discover a unique pyramid that has been buried beneath the Egyptian desert for 5,000 years.  Accompanied by a newswoman and her team, the archaeologists enter the tomb and promptly become trapped.  Hopelessly lost within the pyramid’s labyrinthine structure, the group faces deadly perils that threaten their escape, including collapsing floors and bloodthirsty predators.”

I’m just going to start off by saying that if you are hoping to go see a horror movie that is good, this is not one of those movies.  It was rated at a 7% on Rotten Tomatoes and the acting was so incredibly horrible - which was sad because Denis O’Hare from American Horror Story is in it.  It was shot as if it was first person and combined styles that we have already seen in movies like Paranormal Activity and Quarantine.  This movie did not bring anything new to the table or to the horror genre in general.   

I was lucky enough to go see this gem of a movie with a partner in crime and our reviews on this couldn’t be any different.  I thought the movie was horrible but highly entertaining.  The acting - horrible, the scares - cheap, the “bloodthirsty predators” - worst CGI I’ve seen in a long time; but, the cheap scares got me almost everytime (I literally almost screamed out loud at one point) and I laughed my ass off when the “bloodthirsty predator” revealed itself.  The thing with horror movies is that 98% of the time the movie is going to suck but usually there is some enjoyment to be had.  My partner in crime did not feel the same way as me, but he’s more of a realist and a sucker for a good story whereas I’m a sucker for cheap horror thrills and unicorns.

Would I recommend that ya’ll go out and buy overly expensive movie tickets to see this?  Unless you LOVE horror, then no… wait till Netflix.  Do I think it’s the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen, absolutely not.  Do I wish some bad ass King Tut mummy fucked everyone up in the movie?  Absofuckinglutely.  Unfortunately that did not happen so with all that said, I give this movie 2 skulls out of 5 skulls and I think I’m doing it a favor by even giving it 2 skulls, I totes would have given it 3 skulls if they had at least shown us a mummy.