Augustine Frizzell (wife of director David Lowery) wrote and directed this sometimes familiar story, NEVER GOIN’ BACK, about two teenagers needing to get to the beach – no matter what. If you are a fan of Clerks or Dazed and Confused, this movie is a must see. But if you are easily offended by excessive drug use, white guys who think they are black drug dealers, or the need to shit and barf, don’t bother watching.
Jessie and Angela share a room in Jessie’s brother Justin’s house. They also have another roommate named Brandon. I had a hard time determining if the girls were best friends or lovers, but I guess that is a moot point really. Their relationship would work either way.
Jessie’s 17th birthday is a few weeks away. Wanting to make it a special one, Angela books them a trip to the beach in Galveston, where promises of donuts and dolphins abound. Only one problem: She used their rent money to pay for it.
The girls grab extra shifts at the diner to make up for their missing rent but end up getting fired for showing up high as fuck after a night in jail. Jessie has to poop, but she can’t shit in public. She holds it. FOREVER.
One things leads to another and they concoct a plan to rob Brandon who works at a sandwich shop. They try to exchange a ride on his Bran-nana for the contents of the cash register. With only $50 int he register, bumbling Brandon tells the girls that he already put all of the day’s cash in the safe. Just then, Justin’s crew shows up wearing stockings on their head to rob the shop too. The girls are super pissed at them, and expose them for who they are to Brandon.
As Justin and his posse are tossed out of the sandwich shop, the owner shows up and the girls have to hide in the broom closet so Brandon doesn’t get in trouble. Brandon leaves the girls to fend for themselves. The owner, who doesn’t know they are there, places his keys by the register and proceeds to the sandwich counter to rub mustard all over his wang and masturbate in a piece of bread. He texts the picture to God knows who. As luck would have it, Jessie finally needs to crap – it is a massive crap in a bucket in which the stench from said crap causes Angela to burst out of the closet barfing…All over the sandwich shop owner. This makes him faint. They use his keys to rob the safe and tell him that they have pictures of his text messages of his mustard wang if he tries to turn them in to the cops. They escape their boring lives and move to Florida for never ending donuts, drugs and dolphins.
I wasn’t quite sure what to think of this film at first, but found myself very invested in finding out how the plot would unravel. Take a chance one this one – you might be pleasantly surprised.